Yes, you can make your own toilet paper! But would you? Warning, the following post could lead to a newspaper shortage…
When I started this blog I never, ever thought I’d be dabbling in crafts like DIY toilet paper. When I put up crafty posts I’m usually telling you how to make hidden heart cakes and cute bakes like that.
But desperate times and major boredom have called for dabbling in some interesting “recipes”. And I really hope this doesn’t actually become a thing. But I have way too much time on my hands and this COVID-19 panic and social distancing has my mind exploring some creative issues. And while I was busing buying sprinkles and makeup I forgot toilet paper… We all know you cannot get toilet paper right now. So as a recipe developer and all around nosy woman who is all about making your own sh** (no pun intended), I started thinking about how to make your own toilet paper. Just in case it ever came to that. So here we go. In case of an emergency here is how to make your own toilet paper!
Why On Earth Would You Make Your Own Toilet Paper?
Well there’s a global pandemic happening right now and shelves are empty. You cannot get necessities like toilet paper unless you’re stalking and refreshing Amazon 24/7. And even then, if you think you’ve got your hands on a pack, it’s out of stock before you hit “Buy Now”. The world has gone crazy with buying out items like toilet paper and hoarding has become a real problem.
So just in case it comes to it, now you’ll know how to make your own toilet paper. I truly hope you never actually have to do this! But here we go! I was never a Girl Scout, but I feel like this post has earned me a resourceful mom badge, or something like that. And if anything, it gives you an interesting science project to do with your kids during this long break from school!
This “recipe” is based off a bunch I found online and from YouTube. Thanks, Internet! And red wine for contributing to my late night creativity.
Items You Need To Make Your Own TP
You’re going to need a few things to make your own toilet paper.
8 sheets of newspaper. But it cannot be glossy, that’s the rule!
1/4 C. Aloe
4 drops Witch hazel
2 cups each of Grass and leaves (these are items used in paper making)
Sheet or towel
Large cutting board
How To Make Your Own Toilet Paper
1. Soak the newspaper in water until 75% of the ink is removed.
2. Meanwhile, fill the pot with 2 cups of grass and 2 cups of leaves. (DON’T USE POISON IVY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!) Then pour water to cover. Place the soaked paper in the pot.
3. Set pot on stovetop set over high heat and bring to a rolling boil. Boil for 30 minutes, adding water as necessary as it reduces.
4. Once the newspaper turns into pulp, remove from heat. Ladle out all the water until there’s only barely any there with the pulp. Do not let this pulp dry out. Furthermore, do not disturb this sacred pulp. Let it Cool.
5. Mix in 1/4 cup of Aloe. Add 3 drops of witch hazel for anti bacterial properties.
6. Spread towel onto a flat surface. Then spread this pulp mixture onto towel. Use the rolling pin to flatten it as thin as possible. This part is kind of like making puff pastry!
7. Lay cutting board on top.
8. After 30-40 minutes, remove the cutting board. Then turn over the towel and remove it to reveal the TP!
9. Then put your tp in the sun to dry before cutting into strips.
10. Have a glass of wine and make yourself a badge of wilderness excellence/ pandemic preparedness. Because you, my friend, just made your own freakin toilet paper!
Thanks for reading How To Make Your Own Toilet Paper! Yes, this is what social distancing does to people! Follow me on Instagram for more of this…!
*Do this at your own risk! If you actually make your own toilet paper, Don’t use poison ivy or anything that would cause problems bigger than not having your own toilet paper. This post is for entertainment purposes and you should always consult a Dr before switching things up.
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